It’s officially 2011, but I still haven’t seen all I’ve wanted from 2010. There are a few tasks left unchecked, a few more holidays I’d like to take off, and a few more people I’d like to enjoy them with. And most importantly for our purposes here, a few more films I’d like to enjoy before putting the year that was into the books. I still haven’t seen 127 Hours, Rabbit Hole, Exit Through the Gift Shop, The Kids Are Alright, Blue Valentine, or The Company Men (fortunately I did manage to avoid Yogi Bear). But alas, the new year is here, and we must move on.
All in all I saw 56 movies at the theater this past year, a number that must be close to my record high. I enjoyed at least 75% of them at least 25% of the time. For some, I ducked into the theater for a second viewing if I had some time to kill (Inception, Harry Potter, Scott Pilgrim). And for only the second time in my movie going history, I walked out of a theater before the credits rolled (The Last Airbender)… and then I did it twice more (Saw 3D, The Tourist). It’s probably against some unread Critic’s Code to do such a thing. I stuck with them as long as I could, deep into the second or third acts. But when you’re seeing 56 theater releases a year, you can’t afford to waste time.
And on that note, I’ll waste no more of yours. What follows is an in depth run down of my 2010 movie going experience, with the films listed not chronologically, but preferentially, working our way down to my Top 20 films of the year. After all, you’ve gotta work your way through the mud to get to the gold…or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
At times it seems ridiculous to rank films one above the other – invariably the list will be ripe with time-proven inaccuracies. So, I’ve grouped the weakest entries in the 2010 catalogue by theme…
THE VERY WORST OF THE WORSTIf you have the opportunity to see any of these movies for free, don’t.
56. Saw 3D
54. Skyline
As I said above I walked out of two of these movies, and out of Saw in the final sequence. I didn’t need to sit through the gore to figure out that ending. And I didn’t need to sit through the last 30 minutes of Airbender to realize the movie completely sucked. I’d seen the final showdown already anyway (thank you, trailers!). Skyline I only wish I’d walked out of before the tacked on credits sequence made an already disposable movie painful. R.I.P Donald Faison’s career. I still miss you.
SO FUNNY I FORGOT TO LAUGH52. Cop Out
Two very bad ideas – a movie based on a 30 second SNL skit, and a movie starring SNL Tracy Morgan. Turns out too much of a good thing really means more than 2 minutes of a post-‘95 SNL product at any one time (30 Rock = the exception that proves the rule).
THE BRAIN DEAD BLOCKBUSTERSIn a year wrought with remakes, franchises and video game/comics kid junkie source materials, these were the most egregious offenders. The Shrek series jumped the shark with the second movie, and then made two more. I saw it with Ryan Seacrest and American Idol hopefuls in the audience. There’s something sadly appropriate about that.
AKA the ironically self-serious
48. Faster
47. Repo Men
Repo Men drowned its dark humor in self-importance, while Faster was blinded by the same sin. It’s akin to me saying “If you don’t know what you are, you’ll never achieve your potential, in movies or in life.”
46. Takers
45. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Fancy suits. Fast cars. Expensive lofts and dangerous ambition… all the making of exciting movie magic… except stories we believe in, or characters we care about… or any tangible humanity beneath the gloss.
44. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
43. Valentine’s Day
42. The Tourist
Generally harmless, these fall into the “rainy day zone out” category. There were a few nice moments here and there, but ultimately they were just boring.
41. Daybreakers
40. The Losers
39. Machete
Movies with fun ideas or daring concepts that never quite translated into consistent quality entertainment. Everything here offers something worth seeing, but nothing really worth sitting through a full movie for.
38. A Nightmare on Elm Street
37. Death at a Funeral
Face it, the original Nightmare has not aged well, and really isn’t much of a nightmare anymore. The update upped the scare factor, and treated its material with respect. It just wasn’t very much fun. Funeral, on the other hand, was a lot of fun, even though the only real “update” was in the location, and color of it’s central family’s skin.
36. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
The Twilight Saga sucks, and I don’t mean that as a pun. As a whole, it just really, really bites. But seriously, Eclipse is a moderately high point, the most interesting and entertaining of the bunch. You know why? ‘Cause stuff actually happened. Amid all the moping around and talk talk talking, Eclipse offered something we’ve seen far too little of in this franchise… stakes. Ha! I’m sorry I just can’t stop myself.
Not quite laughs, but almost.
35. The Other Guys
34. Due Date
33. Knight and Day
32. Hot Tub Time Machine
31. Date Night
Okay, there were a few laughs. But overall, 2010 was a weak year for comedies. I love comedies, and I don’t have one in my top 20. Every one of these flicks is worth a laugh or two. Sometimes three or four. But when they’re spread out over 90 minutes (or nearly two hours, as was too often the case) that just isn’t good enough.
= Meh
29. The American
Not bad films per se… just not impactful. Green Zone moves fast and aims for the thrill, but too often misses. The American casually dances with the thrill, and sometimes hits.
Both of these movies were fun but forgettable. Iron Man 2 had some good action, fun characters… and its hero peeing himself in his iron suit. Super. The A-Team had everything but the peeing bit, which it replaced with a crappy ending.
26. The Crazies
Not exactly a banner year for the horror genre, but these two were solid entries. The Paranormal sequel actually improved upon its formula. And The Crazies kept things tense, leaning heavily Timothy Olyphant’s casual strength. Both were a nice surprise.
Okay I’m cheating a little bit, cause’ Funny Story isn’t really much of a comedy. But it’s one of the most consistently funny flicks of the year, and it offers a glimpse of Zach Galifianakis’ subtler side. Schmucks offers his “laugh out loud” side, and Greek an LOL text message. Either way the ratio of laughs-to-crickets was much better in these top 2010 comedies.
I liked it, but I didn’t like it. I cared, but I didn’t care. Visually and technologically speaking, it was probably the best movie in theaters this year. But theatrically speaking, it was also kind of a let down. Superior to the original Tron in so many ways, Legacy was one heck of an upgrade, but also a heck of a gimmick. With all the cool gadgetry, neato set design and pretty little actors, the story fell by the wayside. The legacy of Tron is in its technical achievement, but the story will always be its Achilles heel.
…and that was the muck, the mirky waters and occasional waves that largely defined cinema in 2010. But the best is still to come.
Part II – The Top Twenty Films of 2010, according to me…
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