Tuesday, May 25, 2010

MacGruber (2010)

MacGruber! Making nothing out of something and invoking catastrophe.

MacGruber! His sketch was kinda funny and then it really kinda wasn’t.

MacGruber! His movie really sucks…


The first Saturday Night Live skit-turned-feature length film in something like a decade, MacGruber is arguably the worst SNL flick ever. Co-written by star Will Forte and his SNL sketch scribblers John Solomon and Jorma Taccone, this MacGyver inspired action-comedy isn’t funny and isn’t action packed. It actually picks up AFTER the action, in the aftermath of the ransacking of a nuclear missile-carrying convoy, and proceeds to only occasionally splatter the screen with a few bullets, lame explosions and 80s throat rips. That’s supposed to be the joke, of course – MacGruber is a spoof, even when it doesn’t have to be.

The problem is the action plays just as well as everything else in this raunchy snore-fest, which is to say it doesn’t play well at all. MacGruber, as a character, is lame incarnate. He’s a walking, snarking mockery of a hero. And while that may be funny for a few seconds in what is possibly the shortest SNL skit ever, it gets old real quick on film, where we’re asked to actually care about his story, and cheer for his adventure.

MacGruber is supposed to be so misinformed and naively confident that he’s fun and likeable, but he’s really just annoying. And so is his weak little plea for your hard-earned, movie-watching money.

Forte isn’t anything close to a movie star, and while he’s madly kicking and screaming to keep his head above water, he only manages to pull down everybody else around him. As MacGruber’s requisite guest star/military sidekick, Ryan Philippe is more boring and lifeless than he’s ever been, and that’s saying something. Even the reliably comedic Kristen Wiig is a dud here, and considering how much she usually does with very little, that’s just shocking.

An overweight and long past his prime Val Kilmer steps in as the greasy, pseudo-euro villain. He’s actually pretty fun. That’s just confusing.

I should probably mention that co-writer Taccone also “directed” this trash-heap, except that’s sort of a lie, because MacGruber doesn’t really seem to have been directed at all. It just sort of lies around in its own lazy filth, sticking celery stock up its butt and pretending that’s a joke (twice).

To put it plainly, this is the worst movie I’ve seen all year, and I saw Cop Out. So instead of getting any further into why it sucks so much, I’m just going to sit here and hurl adjectives at it:

Dumb. Stupid. Lazy. Lame. Pathetic. Disgusting. Sordid. Snore-inducing. Depressing. Meek. Vile. Uncreative. Idiotic. MacGruber. Wasteful. Slow. Screable. Dim-witted. Indolent. Moronic. Creatively barren. Repulsive. Sad. Dismal. Infertile. Ignorant…


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