Skyline (2010)

Skyline is the no fun, no smarts version of Independence Day (1996), but with technically better special FX, and less enjoyable aliens. You should never see this movie… unless you are looking to watch a really terrible, “so bad it’s good… at being bad” contender, or are screening for the Razzie awards.

Then it might be worth it.

But then again, probably not.

The problem with Skyline is that it thinks it’s a real movie – it’s a self-serious “end of the world” epic in its own mind, despite the fact that it’s shot in one location and isn’t actually an epic. It’s got a $10 million budget blown on scary digital aliens and TV actors like Eric Balfour, Brittany Daniel, David Zayas and Donald Faison. I love Donald Faison. He deserves better than to be the black guy in the scary movie whose only mission in life is to pose like a rap star and bring the gun to the party… and be the first person we’re supposed to care about to die.

Donald Faison is awesome because he’s funny, but Skyline doesn’t have a sense of humor, so here he’s just token.

The movie is directed by The Strause Brothers, who actually credit themselves as “The Strause Brothers.” The script is written by Joshua Cordes and Liam O’Donnell, two people who aren’t brothers, and aren’t really writers either. They’re FX guys, which goes a long way in explaining what’s wrong with this movie.

The plot takes the Cloverfield (2008) approach to story – the movie is shot from the perspective of a group of “friends” living in Los Angeles. No governments, no heroes, no varying viewpoints. Just a bunch of hung-over model types arguing about whether they should drive their Ferrari to the marina or hold up in their penthouse waiting for the world to end. One of them’s pregnant. One of them gets special alien superpowers… for some reason. And then a lot of stuff happens.

Except… not a lot of stuff happens. The worst thing about Skyline – a MONSTER MOVIE – is that it’s boring. Incredibly boring. It’s a group of people sitting around in an apartment, speaking dialogue written by idiot hacks, and occasionally getting picked off by zombie aliens.

But hey, it’s already made its $10 million back! Success!

Do not watch this movie. Watch Independence Day. Or Cloverfield. Or write a mash-up of the two, go get a camera and a computer and make your own movie.

Apparently anybody can do it.