Terrible Trailers - Splice

I walked into The Losers this weekend understanding that what I was about to sit through would be several billion degrees shy of high art. I knew it would be trash, and I was (mostly) fine with that, ‘cause it would be fun trash – a nice little warm-up for the sugary, teeth-decaying blockbuster junk food in the summer months to come. But does entering a theater to see a sloppy, low-brow flick automatically mean you have to sit through 15 minutes of equally bad (or worse) trash-heap trailers? You could argue that, in such a scenario, one brings this suffering upon themselves. Or you could argue that the majority of the trailers crawling out of dingy Hollywood editing caves these days tend to be pretty terrible, and setting yourself up for B-movie meal only increases your odds of enduring putrefied appetizers.

Terrible Trailers. We’ve all seen them and grumbled about them. They show the funniest parts. They ruin the “gee whiz” action moments. They give away the twists. They give away the whole goddamn plot. And for some reason, we accept their malfeasances. We shrug, say “that sucks”, and move on.

Well I’m not moving on. I’m just not reasonable/mature enough. And with that in mind, I present you the first in the Cinewise Terrible Trailers series…

SPLICE (2010)  (click the link if the embedded trailer doesn't work for you)