Tuesday, May 4, 2010

That was April (2010): Cineskunks and Cinewins

It was a month full of fake Titans and real ghosts, little girls kicking ass and Tracy Morgan getting pooped on.  April 2010 had its ups and downs, its Cineskunks and Cinewins.  And as always, we here at Cinewise were there to take it in.  Here's our rundown of highlights and lowlifes from the month that was...

East Side of the Pond (Courtesy of The Bru)


Worst Movie: Clash of the Titans - stank the whole place up with crappy special effects, horrendous acting, and a stupid storyline. Release the Kraken indeed.

Worst Director: Ian Fitzgibbon (Perrier's Bounty) - uneven pace, uninspiring set-pieces, no film this month had this much potential wasted away.

Worst Script: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi (Clash of the Titans) - every line of every character was a motivational nugget of wisdom and the story couldn't have been more idiotic.

Worst Actor: Sam Worthington (Clash of the Titans) - We are witnesses. We are witnesses to the worst actor ever. And my sincere apologies to Keanu Reeves - we have been treating you unfairly.

Worst Actress: Gemma Arterton (Clash of the Titans) - could she have been more wooden? I doubt it. Will she ever be less wooden? I doubt that too.


Best Movie: Iron Man 2 - inferior to its predecessor and totally unnecessary, but still quite a bit of good fun.

Best Director: Jon Favreau (Iron Man 2) - the former "Swinger" is turning into a formidable director. More good things to come.

Best Script: Michael Hoffman (The Last Station) - efficiently mixing humour and a serious subject, it is one of the better bios of the last few years.

Best Actor: Brendan Gleeson and Jim Broadbent (Perrier's Bounty) - the two actors proving once again that they are easily the best thing in every film they're in.

Best Actress: Kristen Wiig (Whip It) - quickly becoming the most consistently funny actress in HW (Tina Fey, watch out).

West Side of the Pond (Courtesy of DubMc)


Worst Movie: Clash of the Titans - Dull, lifeless and deviously misleading, Titans tricked cine-fans worldwide into shelling out extra cash for tacked on 3-D effects. The movie was never gonna be good, but it didn’t have to be shameful.

Worst Director: Sylvain White (The Losers) - Took a potentially fun junk-food piece, sucked out the candy and skipped right to the toothache. A dismal, uninspired effort.

Worst Script: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi (Clash of the Titans) - Pasted a bunch of clichés on the lips of cardboard cutout caricatures.

Worst Actor: Tracy Morgan (Death at a Funeral) - Tracy’s like an 8-year-old telling the same joke over and over. At first it’s endearing. But it grows in annoyance each time.

Worst Actress: Alexa Davalos (Clash of the Titans) - She was asked to portray a beauty with soul, or at least someone we wouldn’t want devoured by a Kraken. By the end I was hoping she would be.


Best Movie: The Ghost Writer – an atmospheric gem of a thriller, it’s like a good scotch; smooth and a bit dangerous.

Best Director: Roman Polanski (The Ghost Writer) – the closest he’s come to recapturing Chinatown glory.

Best Script: Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass) – a flawed but brilliant spin on a time-worn genre piece, Goldman and Vaughn pitted an 11-year-old girl against a room full of thugs, then let her slice and dice her way to victory. Boldly played.

Best Actor: Ewan McGregor (The Ghost Writer) – reminding us just how simply watchable a good actor can be.

Best Actress: Chloe Moretz (Kick-Ass) – a remarkable young talent to watch out for.

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