Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Mummy Returns (2001)

There is no place to start with this review. On one hand you have a sequel that ticks all the boxes: bigger, louder, more. You also have a perfect example of mindless entertainment that has become a regular fixture for our Friday nights at the theater. On the other hand, you have a film that is so hopelessly convoluted and stupid that it leaves you speechless as to what to make of it.

Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz are back to re-enact their roles - verbatim. It turns out having a kid doesn't really change anything in you. In the first film, The Mummy (1999), how these two characters develop into a couple made it worthwhile. Here, that is completely thrown out the window.

Having Egyptian artifacts at every turn doesn't, unfortunately, hide the lack of a discernible plot. Halfway through the film you face the daunting question: what the hell is going on here? This question is not directed towards a rather intellectual enigma put forward by the director/writer Stephen Sommers, but the lack thereof. What the hell is everybody trying to do? Impothep (Arnold Vosloo - Hollywood's go-to bad Middle Eastern dude) wants to revive the Scorpion King (CG-infused Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and lead his army against...well...somebody. Meanwhile, Rachel Weisz's character turns out to be an Egyptian princess in her previous life. Oh, and Brendan Fraser is supposed to be the chosen one to kill the Scorpion King. And why does he care? Because his son is kidnapped.

There it is. That is the movie. Part video-game - a bad one at that - part excuse for a film, it is neither entertaining nor memorable. One of the worst filmic experiences of my life.

3 comments:

Insert Name Here said...

Stephen Sommers is top of my list of filmmakers that include Paul WS Anderson, (current) Tony Scott, and Michael Bay. Can you guess what that list is called?

Gurur Sarbanoglu said...

It depends. Either "The Most Totally Awesome Directors",or "The Incredibly Untalented, Aurally and Visually Raping Directors"

Which one? Or, maybe another list that I don't know of?

Blarney said...

You nailed it with 2.

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